THE FOUR KINDS OF SEX. HOUSE SEX: When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room. BEDROOM SEX: After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom. HALL SEX: After you’ve been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say “FUCK YOU”. COURTROOM SEX: When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you’ve got.A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole”. The grandfather replies “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole”. The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five. . God, I listen to way too much rap music," I said, wincing a bit. "None of that is real!"Destiny laughed."But for real, you all right?" She said."Yeah. Just gotta walk it out a bit." Where does it hurt?" She asked. I pointed at and felt up my groin area."Hmm... over here?"She touched my inner thigh, caressing it, then slowly grazed her soft hands to my sensitive testicles."Oh," I reacted. "I got to admit, that split was impressive." Was it now? There's more where that came from," Destiny said to me, feeling my testicles, which gradually became hard. "Ooh, he's happy now."We went to the back of the auditorium, behind the curtains. Destiny dropped down on her knees seamlessly and started to unbuckle my jeans while feeling my rock hard penis."Chad, let me ask you something."I looked at her in her eyes. They were pretty."Have you ever pleased a woman?" Should I answer that?" I said in my mind, knowing she wanted it."Would you like to find out?" I said, tilting my head. I lowered my pants.
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